How would I describe this semester? I really don’t think I’ve ever felt more confused, happy, scared, angry, anxious, hopeful, frustrated and lost. And that’s just Monday mornings.
I had such high hopes for the start of my final year in college. I was going to enjoy every minute of it; classes would be great, the sun would always shine and I was always going to wake up on the right side of the bed every morning…….literally the first day of classes I showed up at the wrong building. I should’ve known that was a sign.
It wasn’t all bad, I learned a lot about myself. Like how I am not one of those people who can go out drinking and go to work the next day. I can’t even begin to explain how many times I showed up for work on Saturday morning praying that the place would burn down or something so I could go home and nurse my hangover.
I also learned some really good things too. For someone who has emotional breakdowns down to a science, I’m extremely well-organized and good at getting things done. This semester I had a full course load and worked three part time jobs at the same time – and if things go right, I should have all A’s this semester. I was busy all the time. I knew that moving to New York City takes money and since I don’t plan to get stuck on my parents couch when I graduate, I did what I had to do. Seriously, my schedule was insane. It took a solid month to put it together but I made it work, and I’m very proud of myself.
I learned that for someone who doesn’t really take chances, I sure do know how to take chances. I won’t go into detail but I’ll say that I took a chance on someone and royally embarrassed myself in the beginning, multiple times – like, I could write the book on how to make an ass out of yourself. Luckily, they gave me a second chance and almost three months later I’ve grown closer to this person than I would’ve ever thought possible. I’m so grateful for their presence in my life. It’s always a special thing when you find someone who you genuinely appreciate and enjoy being around. Even when they think you drink too much and try to stage an intervention between classes – and they don’t understand that they definitely cut your cuticles too low if my fingernails were bleeding for a week . Shout out to all my close friends who watched me turn into a 12-year-old girl over them and didn’t judge, you guys are awesome. And if that someone is reading this; thank you for being your amazing, unapologetic self. Never change a thing.
I got some amazing news last week! I was offered a managerial position with the same professional theatre company that I worked with last summer. The position ends right when the lease for my current apartment does so I’ll be on my way to New York with an extra line on my resume that should really help get my foot in the door.
This semester has also been a real eye-opener in terms of recent events. The verdicts of the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases have really shaken the confidence in our justice system for a huge amount of people in this country, myself included. In times like these it’s important to not lose ourselves in violence and hate, but to use that same passion to push ourselves forward and forge a better tomorrow.
I turned in this next quote as part of an assignment for one of my writing classes and if you recognize it that’s because it’s from The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It’s a phenomenal movie and if you haven’t seen it yet, get your life together and go rent it from RedBox or something. I really think the message is relevant for everyone right now.
“We must be greater than what we suffer. My wish is for you to become hope. People need that. And even if we fail, what better way is there to live?”
Ours is a powerful generation. Do not let the media fool you into thinking we are the narcissistic, selfish and underemployed members of society they say we are. We care about each other, we care about the environment, we care about injustices across the globe and we care about what’s right. We are the new wave of lawyers, doctors, scientists, humanitarians, and world leaders. We can and will change the world. We are what greatness looks like, every single one of us.
Some highlights from the semester: